A lot of people ask me about willpower because they think they don’t have enough of it.
The truth is, it turns out, the fact that they THINK they don’t have enough willpower might be exactly why they don’t have enough.
That’s, RIGHT!! 🙂
Back in the 1990s, scientists came up with a theory called “ego depletion,” which basically says that willpower is a limited resource. If you’re tired, stressed, or have made a ton of decisions during the day, you’re more likely to run out of it.
Which sets you up for skipping your planned workouts, ordering takeout instead of eating a healthy home-cooked meal, etc.
However,… new research suggests that ego depletion may only apply if you believe in it.
So, if you believe you will run out of willpower, you probably WILL! BOOM!
SO, this is good news! This means YOU can take back control (and personal responsibility) over your actions — and stop “relying” on willpower!
One way to do that: the next time you feel like you don’t have willpower, go into PROBLEM-SOLVING MODE.
Ask yourself: Why do you feel like your willpower is slipping?
- Is it a schedule problem?
- A planning problem?
- Are your expectations too high, too soon?
- Are you tired?
- Are you stressed or upset?
Nothing is more motivating than feeling like you’re making solid progress — and the way to keep moving forward is to keep solving those problems!
Making excuses will always lead you down a negative path, physically, mentally and emotionally.
On the other hand, taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to solve your own problems will lead to actions that will help you step up your self-care game AND help you reach (& exceed) your goals.
Personal Responsibility will lead you to practicing resilience or what you might call mental toughness. Think of resilience as being like a rubber band. It can stretch and bend but always returns to its original shape.
When you are resilient, you can navigate tough situations more easily – and return to being happy and healthy even faster.
TRUE resilience is NOT a characteristic that have to be born with it. You can work to make it stronger.
Resilience can help you:
- Overcome obstacles
- Stay positive when things are difficult
- Come back strong after being knocked down
AND there are 4 core components that make up resilience that can help you live a happier, healthier, more balanced life.
The 4 components to Resilience are:
- CONNECTION: Strong relationships and social connections
- WELLNESS: Practicing regular self-care to boost your physical health
- OPTIMISM: Taking steps to find a healthy outlook, perspective and focus
- MEANING: Finding a purpose and working toward goals that help in self-discovery
HOWEVER, there are times in our life when we feel like we’re lacking one, some or all of the components above. HEY, we’ve all been there, OR we will be there at one point! (That’s part of the ups & downs of life!)
And maybe you’re reading this now and thinking, I want to be more RESILIENT!
So, here are 8 action STEPS that will step up your self-care game and help you Own Your Outcome, Practice Personal Responsibility & Be RESILIENT
- Hold yourself accountable. When you “own your outcome” and take personal responsibility for your life… your decisions, actions, and how you spend your time take on a whole new meaning. So, when you tell yourself you are going to do something, DO IT. The more often you do this, the easier it gets… and the more progress you will make!
- Ask for help if you need it. This is a big one because asking for help requires pushing your ego to the side so you can move forward, faster.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. We all are born with different strengths, challenges, and gifts. Comparing yourself to others robs you of the ability to express and build on what’s uniquely YOU!
Definitely let other people inspire you… but also let your own gifts shine because you never know who YOU will inspire. - Expect the unexpected and, when it happens, don’t let it derail you. It’s pretty much inevitable that at some point you’re going to fall off track… so plan for it!
There will always be obstacles – the key is to not let them stop you. They give you a chance to grow and learn. New levels, new devils. - Strengthen your inner circle. When you’re close with people who are working toward the same things you are, it will help motivate and inspire you. It can also provide valuable support when things get tough.
- Take care of your body. When you eat healthy foods, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage your stress, and do all the self-care things, it gives you the energy you need to not only REACH your goals … but also live a more full and active life.
And that’s what it’s all about, right? - Take action (even when you don’t feel like it). You’re not always going to “feel like it.” And that’s completely normal. Do it anyway, because, in the long run, those micro-commitments you make to yourself aren’t really “micro” at all.
- Focus on the positive. Check your inner dialogue… and when it turns negative, course correct ASAP so you don’t end up derailing your progress. (Or worse, quitting altogether.)
Another way to take personal responsibility? Work with a coach to help you stay focused on the exact actions you need to take to get results, stay resilient and be happy! 🙂
